i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
