K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
