Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize