Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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