not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
