i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I had to cum in my sink.
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