Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
