can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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