Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
