I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
