I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
