Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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