She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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