You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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