I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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