I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
