Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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