her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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