I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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