I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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