I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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