Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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