I want to have your abortion
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
