PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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