i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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