Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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