This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No subtext here. People are naked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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