You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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