lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
