How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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