My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
