ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
