Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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