I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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