Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
