I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
