I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize