You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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