I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
