looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
