So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
