when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That accounts for only three of the penises
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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