She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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