Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
