i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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