Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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