Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
