Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
the raccoons are back...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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