He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
