how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
