were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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