You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
