I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
