Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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