so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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