I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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