I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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