Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
