four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So here I am, sexting at work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
