you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
