I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
