Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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