Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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