I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're too hungover to prance.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
