took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
