How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Say something about gay babies.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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