My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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