Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
