I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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