she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
